To Georgia. I arrived at my new temporary address at around 2 AM on October 6. Only a handful, if that many, knew that I left. Left to create a new a life, deliberately. I found a new job three days after my arrival, a serving position, which was part of the plan. It is flexible. The money is quick and mostly abundant. It’s amazing and almost frightening how “belonged” I feel already. Positive affirmations have been pouring in from strangers and I’ve been practicing gratefulness.
I remember a time when I felt rooted—stuck—in my own misery. I was a disaster. A complete emotional wreck and the recollection of a time when I cried and cried and wanted to rid myself of myself and although it lurks in the shadows, the memory seems distant. I had once convinced myself that I would always feel this deep, almost tangible suffering. I had to find a way to help myself.
I’ve been internally calling myself a “solutionist” as of late. Less complaints, more solutions. So moving was a solution for me. Instead of spinning the hamster wheel, I leapt, even at the risk of twisting an ankle or skinning my knee. So this is by no means an act that eradicates future obstacles, it is an act of easing present problems and creating future opportunities. A life with yin doesn’t exist without yang and I have already been faced with obstacles since my arrival.
I read a Twitter post by poet Nayyirah Waheed, “Let a new life happen to you”. As simplistic as it reads, I found it to be so profound and certainly apropos.
I am the captain of my ship… I am the captain of my ship… I AM THE CAPTAIN OF MY SHIP and I am finding the way to the life that I want and deserve.