My car was stolen a week ago today, while visiting my friend. The plan was to stay the night because the drive home after my part-time job was over an hour and it was late when I’d gotten off. I had to work the next afternoon, so I wanted to save gas. I’ve imagined my car being broken into, but never taken from me. To realize that you were being watched is frightening and I keep asking myself “what if I had stayed in the car a little longer to charge my phone”. But the what if’s don’t mean as much as the scenes that actually play out. I had a panic attack, I was devastated. Not only was my car gone, but so was my phone, and cash that I’d stashed in the center console. I was in transition to relocate, so I had all my shoes except two pairs, stored in the trunk. My mic stand and cords. A suitcase full of clothing , & other miscellaneous items.
I was in a distraught and in a stupor and fell asleep that morning around 4:30 AM. Everything that followed that early morning victimization, was the complete opposite of tragic. My father sprang into action to get my mobile again. I posted the link to my Paypal and Cashapp and I received notification after notification regarding their financial support. I was in tears. I received messages of comfort and encouragement. So many private messages asking “How can I help?” I was moved in a way that is bringing me to tears as I write this. I wrote previously about often feeling alone and disconnected. I haven’t had a depressive episode since I wrote that blog post and I could’ve easily slipped into despair had it not been for the way that I so beautifully supported. I am so grateful.
This ordeal strengthened my belief that adversity reinforces gratitude. I don’t feel entitled to anyone’s help, but I’ve come to accept that I deserve it. The Universe provides me with people who love and care for me because I deserve to be loved and cared for because I love and care. I’m thankful for such an amazing support system.
I’m writing this so that it’s easy to revisit the feeling. So that I remember to always practice gratitude. Less complaints and more solutions. I was a tiny little bug trapped in a spiders web and the strength of my friends gave me strength to fight my out of what could’ve been a spiral of darkness.
The ordeal isn’t completely over yet, I still have to retrieve the car, which was reported as totaled, and make my way to my relocation destination, but I am encouraged. The Universe always provides.